


Two Ninja (in a tree)

by ModernArt2012



Category: Naruto
Genre: Bonding, Dai-nana-han | Team 7 (Naruto)-centric, Gen, Hatake Kakashi is a Troll, KakaZabu Week 2018, M/M, Zabuza is a Man of Rage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-04
Updated: 2018-07-04
Packaged: 2019-06-05 09:31:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15167753
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ModernArt2012/pseuds/ModernArt2012
Summary: “This is entirely your fault.”“Maa, maa, Zabuza, it could technically be your fault. Who’s apprentice wanted him to live and conspired to make it so?"





	Two Ninja (in a tree)

**Author's Note:**

> I listened to the Devil when my other wip Didn't Want to Go and started a new one. There are regrets.
> 
> Also, taking suggestions for titles. I'm not proud of what I've got, but heck if I'm staring at this trash fire any longer.

“This is entirely your fault.”

 

“Maa, maa, Zabuza, it could technically be your fault. Who’s apprentice wanted him to live and conspired to make it so?” The asshole had the gall to not be going red in the face - maybe all that idiotic tree walking Leaf did was worth something? 

 

If only he could reach Kubikiribocho, he’d put the blade to good use and execute the Copy Nin. “And who’s genin were the bloodthirsty idiots who decided everything would be better if they killed Gato? And fomented rebellion with Haku to get us into this mess.”

 

“I’m glad to see Sasuke-kun, Naruto-kun, and Sakura-chan getting along. Especially on a mission. They’re working together very well.” Of course the asshole sounded gleeful. It’s like he didn’t care about his idiot puppies. “Haku did go along with them, they should all be fine.”

 

Zabuza snarls back, “I don’t care at all.” He’s losing feeling in his legs from hanging upside down so long, why didn’t he learn to keep the blood circulating with chakra when Haku offered to teach him?

 

He can feel Kakashi nodding knowingly against the back of his head. “Of course. Ninja are tools and all. So what brings a missing nin to Wave anyways?”

 

“Mercenary work.” The less a ninja like Hatake Kakashi knew, the better for everyone. The money Gato had promised would go a long way in Mist, for the rebellion, but only if they actually got paid. Though if Haku and the wet-behind the ears genin Hatake was saddled with actually killed Gato, then that would be excellent - they’d get their money and then some. 

 

A moment of silence, then, “How much?” Zabuza rattles off the figure - not a small number. “Is that the going rate for freelance assassination these days?” The bastard’s tone tells all, and it irritates Zabuza to no end. The senbon that were stuck into his tenketsu points are the first obstacle, if only he could channel enough chakra to drown his trap-mate he’d be happy. “If I hand you a kunai, will you get us out of this trap before trying to kill me?”

 

At least the asshole knew which way was up, “Why would I waste my time? I’m more afraid your genin are going to cost me an apprentice. I worked hard on getting him to his current level.”

 

It works in his favor - he gets passed a kunai and gets to work sawing through the rope hanging them mid air. “Your orange nimrod needs to learn to use ninja wire threaded rope.”

 

“Haku leaves their left exposed.” What is this, teaching critique time? The awkward angle of his wrist keeps him from being able to work faster, but the rope is parting willingly. If only those hellions hadn’t listened to the kunoichi and wrapped them in every piece of rope they could get their hands on. “Have they thought about a tanto or wakizashi to cover you better?”

 

“Has your kunoichi thought about anything other than boys?” He grunts as he works the kunai around a thick knot, trying to find where the ropes were tied together instead of having to try and cut through the whole knot.

 

“It’s a work in progress.” Zabuza feels the shrug against his shoulders, and honestly it’s a low blow all things considered with Mei - though she wasn’t boy crazy so much as looking to find a husband yesterday. The difference has to count for something. 

 

“All genin are works in progress - they shouldn’t be allowed out of the Academy until they sort themselves out and get over their self absorbed pre-teen bullshit.” 

 

“Says the Demon of the Bloody Mist.” It’s a barbed rejoined, but not intentionally - a bland observation noted factually.

 

Touché. “Says Friend-Killer Kakashi.” No response, damn. Zabuza concedes the loss of this round. The rope loosens them enough that they can claw the rest of the way out. Only, at the same time the rope hanging them from the tree branch is cut too. He has a split second to realize, and then attempt a kawarimi. Only, suppressed chakra, so he lands on his face. The Copy Nin just lands on his feet.

 

“Kaka-sensei! Kaka-sensei! Sakura-chan’s plan worked! Gato’s dead!” The orange menace comes thundering through the woods louder than a herd of buffalo. What were they even teaching kids these days? “Haku-kun has his head! And his money!”

 

Zabuza will forgive the orange idiot for everything. Except the orange. That needed to go. 

 

The kunoichi and the Uchiha stumble in behind their teammate, Haku clearly indulgently herding them forward. Beyond minor scrapes and soot streaks, there’s no damage on any of the four. Part of Zabuza unclenches in relief, especially once Haku comes over and starts pulling senbon. “Good job kid.” 

 

“Thanks Zabuza- _ sensei _ .” The brat. Haku knows precisely what he’s doing. 

 

The Copy Nin sends off his puppies to go clean up - not wasting precious medical supplies on minor wounds, at least someone has sense - before crouching beside Zabuza. “So what’s this about a rebellion you’re funding?” 

 

“Haku!” 

 

“Naruto-kun asked, so I told him. Then he promised me all of Gato’s money.” A beatific smile, because Haku knows precisely how to manipulate people, Zabuza included. Hau starts pulling the Copy Nin’s senbon, and the man smiles his thanks.

 

“Maa, the Sandaime would be interested in hearing more about this.”

 

“So we can be imprisoned and interrogated by your T&I?” Zabuza snorts at the thought. “I’d take my chances against Yagura again.” 

 

“It’s easier to get profitable contracts from within a Village, and we don’t have an ambassador from the Bloody Mist.” Which would give Mei and the rebellion legitimacy and a steady supply of funding - and powerful backing.

 

Zabuza swears virulently, “The fuck do you want Copy Nin?” There’s no free gifts in this world - just users and being used. 

 

The man shrugs, “You seem the type to know a good deal when it comes. Consider it a thank you for waking my genin up to the realities of being a ninja.” It is a good deal; especially since rumor has it the man is ex-ANBU and definitely “Kill on Sight” in every Bingo Book. He has the clout to offer and back up his offer.

 

“They have a lot more waking up to do, Hatake.” A warning as much as an acceptance, ceasefire and peace - for now. “We’ll need to find a place.”

 

“Then consider it an ongoing mission? And I have a spare bedroom,” There’s that infuriating smile. “I’ll send a summons ahead.”  

 

Haku waits until the Copy Nin is off following the massive trail his genin left, nose in his smut, before going, “So, when’s the first date?” 

**Author's Note:**

> Many thanks for [PandaFlower](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandaFlower/pseuds/PandaFlower) for their help. Go check her out, I love her works!
> 
> As always feel free to scream with me on [tumblr!](https://modernart2012.tumblr.com/)


End file.
